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Sour Grapes and Sodding Croissants part I How I came to France

September 6, 2012

I blame the nineteen thirties Popular Front government of France and the BBC.

In pursuance of that government’s efforts to rouse a nationalistic revival to counter the growing threat of Hitler’s Germany, Jean Renoir, son of the painter, made a patriotic film, ‘La Marseillaise’, following a group of ordinary men on their journey from Marseilles  to Paris and their participation in the first bloody acts of what was to become the French Revolution.

I saw this film on the television while a schoolgirl and Baroness Orczy and the Scarlet Pimpernel went out of the window.

I was enthused by the young nation of France….its battles against the armies of the monarchies of Prussia and Austria…its advances into the states of  Italy….the brilliant soldiers it threw up from the mass armies invented and supported by the great Lazare Carnot, ‘Organisateur de la victoire’ (organiser of victory).

Forgive me…..I was young.

A blue revolutionary coat had a similar effect on me as did a scarlet one on the younger daughters of Mr. Bennet….but without the risks brought about by physical proximity.

France took a hold…I read its history, fell on ‘Les Rois Maudits’ (the accursed kings), in which  the end of the Capetian dynasty was recounted by Maurice Druon, at one end of the spectrum and the Paris Commune at the other…..but I did not go to France until I was a student, in command of my local authority grant.

The grant was not munificent…but it felt like it.

Carefully managed it would keep a roof (leaky) over my head, allow me to eat in Chinese and Indian restaurants, buy books without stinting and, finally, allow me to buy a fortnight on the trains of France.

In those pre internet days one booked a ticket by going to the offices of French railways in Piccadilly and handing over the ready, but before parting with the uckers forward planning was necessary.

I could not afford hotels as well as the train ticket, so with the aid of a copy of the Thomas Cook railway timetable for Europe I would plan out a series of journeys by overnight train, allowing me in those pre terrorist days to leave my luggage in a station locker for the day while I explored the area before taking another overnight train to a new destination.

I became an adept…crossed hammers and jours feries held no terrors for me as I plotted my way round the main lines of France!

Inevitably it was  best to buy a separate ticket to Paris to get most value from the fortnight’s ticket….the first demonstration of how everything in France begins and ends in Paris…so with my rucksack charged with changes of clothing and a bag of sandwiches I would set off from London for the ferry to Calais, aiming to arrive in Paris in the evening, ready for the first train out after midnight for the first day of my adventure.

At that time you did not need daylight to know that you were arriving at Calais….day or night on the approaches to the dock you were overwhelmed by the smell of drains. The only smell to compare with it is the stench which hits you when you open the door of a French restaurant serving andouillette (cow gut sausage) as the dish of the day in mid August.

You know you are in France.

Calais docks always seemed pretty derelict as far as passenger infrastructure was concerned….one would leave the ferry via the gangplank and wander off along the cobbles to a sort of concrete wasteland inhabited by trains…..sleepers off to the Alps and everyday trains to Paris, stopping at every halt en route.

Of course, we had to climb up into these trains from a low level platform….no problem when young and agile, but advancing years present the traveller with the alternatives of mounting the steps and swinging the luggage forward or throwing the luggage first, caber tossing style, and following after.

Why do the French think the British have proper platforms if not to avoid lower back injuries and claims for tights ripped in the crotch.

The train itself at that period had compartments linked by a corridor, plastic seats and somewhere to hook your rifle should you be called to the front because the Germans had reverted to type and invaded in August. It had conductors with hats resembling those of admirals and no toilets  for the convenience of  its passengers as it hauled its way to Boulogne via Wimille-Wimereux, then Etaples and Abbeville to  Amiens before collecting itself for the last gallop over the chalk downs with their clumps and clouds of woodland to the valley of the Seine and Paris itself.

The Gare du Nord was shabby and grubby, with toilets guarded by dragons with saucers for the (obligatory) tips, but it marked the start of the adventure.

I would pick up my bags, walk down to the Algerian Stores on the corner to buy a bottle of wine with a plastic top and five stars on the neck, a chunk of sausage and a roll or two and then, turning my back resolutely to the glowing neon sign of the Hotel Kuntz, would head for whichever station held my midnight express.

  1. Those wonderful days of the Thomas Cook railways timetable. Hours spent pouring over an up-to-date one stocked by every library under the sun. How I loved it. And like you – those French trains and platforms were designed for athletes not ordinary people.

    • I even used to buy a copy!
      I could cope with those olympic efforts to board a train when young….but in later, much later, life it was a real pain….not to speak of having your luggage in racks by the door, ready for the opportunistic sneak thief to make off with your smalls.

  2. My first visit to France was on a school trip by train to Provence at the age of 16 and I still remember the smell of the drains and the shock of the hole-in-the-ground loos. I would love to have interrailed round France and indeed Europe, but my parents were agin the idea and I was a good girl back then. 🙂 But our son made the trip as a student, including sleeping overnight on trains to save money and had a marvellous time.

  3. Isn’t it funny….if you read people’s memoirs of travelling to France the drains never get a mention (apart from Blethers’ recent trip!)…but as I recall the smell was omnipresent!

  4. I’ve been to France loads of times on holidays and long weekends. Only once did I actually spend time being French. I had to spend two weeks at my company head office in Paris and rather than stay in a hotel. I spent the time with a colleague and her two flatmates in a 3rd floor apartment somewhere near the Arc de Triomphe part of town, down some back street. I went out at night with them drinking and socialising, Mixed and mingled with the locals. Sat on balconies watching Paris go by where the tourists don’t walk. Had a lovely time, caught Gastroenteritis and the doctor came out to the flat. It was a great memory of a mini view of Parisians going about their life while I tagged along. Andouillette? I’ve had the best one in all of France apparently. it was still disgusting, just more so. 🙂

    • It took me a long time to encounter real France….even when you start to live there you need French friends to let you tag along… and it’s not what you expect!
      Though the gastro is….
      I did have one andouillette which was edible andi can still remember where it came from…Huismes near Chinon…the contents were minced which I suppose made it easier to swallow.

      • We love Chinon. We bought a basket from a rather inebriated monk at a market stall there a few years ago. Maybe one of those Trappist Monks from Belgium so keen on the beer 😉

  5. Chinon is nice…even has a steam train in summer…..

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